Diaper Doggie

Well, today I'm stuck at home babysitting the dog until about four thirty this afternoon. Oh how exciting.

I've decided dogs are OK - as long as they stay away from me, don't slobber or chew on me, and someone else cleans up their messes. That's actually a rather big step for me. Before I would have said "I hate dogs in every imaginable circumstance."

Yes, I'm really more of a cat person. Cats are cuddly, don't smell so bad, don't have dog breath, don't need to be potty trained (or house broken or whatever the crap the proper term is), can feed themselves, and don't need to be exercised. You don't have to clean their crap (literally) off the carpet, and they don't chew on your favorite book. They're actually useful - they catch mice and rats and gophers and things, and if you don't like them, they'll leave you alone (with a little training). Take Dad for instance - he doesn't like cats all that much, and he has only to make a certain noise and they run for cover. How'd he train them to do this miraculous thing? He made large sweeping motions with his foot in their direction while making the noise, and, without ever hitting a single one of them, they all learned. Oh yes, cats are great. I love my cats.

The dog? Well, it's a little like having a baby in the house - only it runs around, bites and poops a lot more. OK, maybe it doesn't poop more but it sure poops in some very weird places. And "you can't exactly slap a diaper on a dog" as someone said yesterday.

Crap. That would've been my next move.