mrrrar. mrargle. rarr. grarr. grarrgle mrarr.

I like the way my housemates say it: "pre-bleeding." Gives such a violent cast to PMS, which is perfectly right, because PMS makes you want to behave in violent ways. Something I never realized before: when four out of six girls in the house are pre-bleeding all at the same time, it's an exponential growth of neuroticism. At any given moment, someone is freaking out or depressed or needs a hug and someone else is manic and just wants to have fun. Maybe I'm exaggerating. But I'm pre-bleeding (all the signs say so, although I shouldn't be until next week), so it's to be expected. If this is grossing the guys out, I'm sorry. It's just really hard to feel like your life is falling apart at the seams and not talk about it. Unless you're actually clinically depressed, so I guess that means I'm not. Good to know.

You know what I like? Cottage cheese and apple butter. I know I told Lucy that was really gross, but I actually kind of like it now. Is it the onset of adulthood and senility? Maybe. Or else my tastebuds are bipolar (everything else feels bipolar, so maybe my tastebuds just had to get into the act).

Ok. Enough whininess. Sorry, no funny stories today. I'm kind of ticked off.

"the intertexuality of our interactions and our situatedness posits the rise of postmodernism"

Hi loves. It's been a while. By which I mean a couple days. I dressed up as Crystal Downing today for the art league halloween party. Would have been funnier if anyone knew who she was, or knew what intertexutality, situatedness, or postmodernism were. Dr. Downing is such a celebraty within the English department; I didn't realize the extent of the art major ignorance about her. Except apparently a freshman had gone to convocation and recognized her.

It was eerie, how like Daniel Finch Rueben looked. Even to the bald spot and diet pepsi, and he pointed with his pinkie while he held the diet pepsi, and hit peoples' arms and said "hey. What's goin' on?" in the Daniel Finch Voice. (And when Daniel Finch realized all of this... oh gosh, it was amazing and fantastic) And Brian looked so much like Brent Goode; we all thought Brenton had actually come to the party when Brian walked in the door. Pretty much the faculty imitations were all amazing. AAAAMMMAAAZZZZINNNG! Lenora dressed up as Andy Bale, too, and looked eerily like him (Emily Heidel dressed up as his dog, Kertesz). They're all my heroes now. And Christine dressed up as Hettinga, and carried around a dead bird, and kept asking people to put it in the freezer for her... and Hettinga really does collect dead birds and animals and scans them in for her books! I have never been prouder to be an art major. Other people dressed up as Frida Kahlo, "Woman 1" by de Kooning, Marilyn Monroe from Andy Warhol's screen prints, Teagen dressed up as Art Deco.... Yeah, it was amazing. I can't really say anything else. Except amazing about a hundred more times.

Except that I have to turn in a really crappy project tomorrow... I just don't know how to fix it. And I haven't even started writing the short paper due Tuesday, or worked on my Digital Studio book which is due on Thursday. Not to mention missing work time to go on a field trip, and my annotated bibliography is due on Friday, and work, and all of those related things.... I'm a little stressed, I'll confess. I should have done so much more work over the weekend.

I am feeling more rested and sane, though, so I'll try not to grudge the time as wasted. Sound good? OK. I agree.

Good night loves,
Teh Kenzie

5,700 twinkies, or 3/4 of a tonsillectomy

So. Apparently Danielle is also writing a young adult fantasty novel! We had a great mini-conversation about it before Med. Ren. Lit. started this morning (she'd been talking to Professor Perrin, whom I'd told about my book, and so she found out about my book, and all was funness). She's thinking about spurring on its progress by doing the novel in november thing, which means 1600 words a day. She said she knew someone who did it once... "he started twitching and hunching over." I think she's nuts, but in a completely fabulous way. And Devin Thomas? Gets up two hours earlier than required every day to spend time writing for himself. I feel like both of them would be really great writing group members (Devin is part of my advanced writing group, but it's not quite the same thing). Anyway, so I'm not the only one! Woot!

Did you know? Indiana Jones is Denied Tenure. You should check out this peerless publication.

Bill Jay:
"Swedish researchers have concluded that exposure to art can ease constipation. Their test subjects met every week for four months to view and discuss visual art. At the end of the course they showed a wide range of physical benefits including more regular bowel movements. [...] the researcher of the art group recorded more 'positive attitudes,' lower blood pressure and its members used fewer laxatives."

"of course in my execrable French I had probably asked him if he would please flog me with a corpse."

"artists seem to know no limits to their verbal inanities. When asked about her artistic ambitions, Vanessa Williams said she wanted to 'paint with all the colors of the wind.' Very poetic, but gibberish all the same. No one has ever asked me about my artistic ambitions, but now I'm ready, just in case. I want to photograph with all the tastes of sunshine. I want to record all the sounds of fog. I want to feel all the smells of whistling." (One wonders whether he's ever seen Pocahontas... I would be interested to know whether his response would be the same if he knew the source of the remark was not Vanessa Williams' own brain.)

And finally, Able and Baker made me laugh out loud in the middle of the library again....

Also, can't forget this, Dad's birthday was on Monday! Wooh! Party! = D

Alright loves. Remind me to tell you the rest of today's funny quote harvest. Sometime. When research for all of my classes is not eating my brains (I have the Donne research paper, research for my Photo II final project, and two Composition Theory and Pedagogy projects to research, one due in two weeks, one for the end of the semester. Did I mention that research makes me want to stab my eyes out?).

"what's your face doing?!"

- Liz Laribee to Jean Corey in the middle of class discussion

Hey loves. I gots to run and write me some papers, but I wanted to share this little tidbit from my photography reading with you:

"One thing I've learned over the years - at least in photography - is patience. I don't think I'm as patient in other areas of my life. One of my biggest enemies was myself. If I walked into a situation and did not see something wonderful and 'designy' and shiny to photograph, I would start beating up on myself. That would only lead me downhill. After a while I realized that I could arrive on the scene at 7 o'clock in the morning and I would play this gamed called 'find the picture.' I would sooner or later find one. I learned to just wander around, look at stuff for four or five hours - and there it would be.

There is a rhythm to everything - and that is true to life and work in these cow camps. After a while I would recognize what I wanted to shoot, and I would do what I needed to do without being obstrusive or directing people or manipulating things in any way. That kind of approach, at least for me, works well. Many photographers are micro-managers. They like to go out and set things up and direct people around. I'm not a director. I'm an observer."

- Adam Jahiel

Also, you should look up David Fokos and Scott Campbell. 'Cause the work I found of theirs in LensWork is pretty much amazing.

"bam, swoosh, checks everywhere!"

- Kristin Widener

I feel kind of manic BECAUSE GUESS WHAT IT'S FRIDAY! And I had a large cup of coffee, and a good laugh at Andy Bale, Daniel Finch, and Brent Good (to whom I confessed that I did his research paper the night before, which was probably not wise, but I am what you might call SLAPHAPPY). Poor Daniel Finch was talking about some distracting elements in a photograph (he thought it should have been cropped somewhat differently) and we accumulated a group of about eight college students laughing hysterically about it and quoting Finding Nemo. He was a little embarrassed I think, and left until they all dispersed, and then I went and told him I was done laughing now and we finished having a little critique. I got a lot of great feedback, and everyone kept telling me how smart the sequence was, although obviously not perfect (I got a lot of good feedback and criticism), so my self-esteem is really high right now.

And I love that professors start relating to you as an equal if you just assume they will, and if you challenge them occasionally and act responsibly and speak articulately (Andy Bale said my proposal about my end-of-semester project was one of the most thoughtful he'd ever gotten). And I also invited Andy Bale and his wife over for dinner, and they said they'd come (we just have to figure out when) so that's really cool too, and I'm looking forward to it.

I take it back. I do feel different now that I'm 20. Or maybe it's because I'm a junior, who knows? But I feel like I can talk to professors as a fellow adult, and like they're starting to take me seriously. I also feel like I have more freedom with my work. I don't have a voice quite yet, but there are definitely things I'd like to explore, and I don't feel bad rejecting professors' suggestions about the directions I should take (sometimes, at least). I guess what I mean by that is that I feel like I own my work more. Like no matter what the assignment, I can work in my own kind of fun. Or I feel more daring about saying things I want to say rather than constantly trying to determine what the professor wants to hear, or something. Does that make sense? Hopefully yes.

This week has been full of grace, you know that? It could have been so much worse. I didn't have breakdowns, I turned in some decent work, I even had a little bit of fun today. Obviously, I don't want to be this sleep-deprived all the time, but for everything that needed to get done, I feel like it went really, really well. I have a boatload of work to do over the weekend, but I'm definitely not going to let it interfere with my sleep.

Lots and lots of loves to all,
Teh Kenzie

"itty-bitty salad dressing!"

-Jess

You Are Pecan Pie Soda

Sweet, but totally nuts

What Jones Holiday Soda Are You?

Well, we knew the nutty part already....

You Should Get a MFA (Masters of Fine Arts)

You're a blooming artistic talent, even if you aren't quite convinced. You'd make an incredible artist, photographer, or film maker.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

Already on my way, thanks very much.

You Are Not Scary

Everyone loves you. Isn't that sweet?

How Scary Are You?

Oh, my self-esteem is now soaring.

Your Hair Should Be Orange

Expressive, deep, and one of a kind. You pull off "weird" well - hardly anyone notices.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

Heh. I wish.

I'm not avoiding my assignments at all...

Can I complain? Just a little? I'm totally burnt out today. If I can just make it to tomorrow... if I can just finish this bibliography....

Today, though, happy things happened. I got eight hours' of sleep, checked some things off my list, got a package from home, and found out that my i-pod analogous device holds practically my whole music library. I currently have 213 songs on it, and that's just over a third of the memory space, according to a handy little toolbar. Cool, no? I'm excited.

"style is being yourself," quentin crisp said, "but on purpose."

And Crystal Downing has plenty of it (style, that is... although probably purpose too). She did a reading tonight of some of her film articles, and it was actually really interesting. And she got choked up at the end of one of her articles, which I think is the cutest thing ever. She can't be that scary if she gets choked up. She's also a lot funnier when she's not in class. I don't think I actually believed that she had a sense of humor before. My favorite quote from the night? "I saw Chicken Run and thought, 'That is a perfect example of postmodern communitarism.' " Haven't the faintest what communitarism is, but it was definitely funny. It made me feel better about connecting John Donne and the Vagina Monologues in my research paper for Med. Ren. Lit.

I was trying to figure out today why I felt like crap, and then I realized: since Sunday, I've gotten fifteen hours of sleep (sixteen if you count the day I couldn't stay awake in Med. Ren. Lit.). And then I also realized I'd only had a cup of coffee for breakfast this morning at 6 (I loathe breakfast foods), and it was, at the time of this rumination, 1:30 p.m. Hm, four hours of sleep... no food... yeah, that would be why my body hates me.

I'm rather proud of myself that I haven't broken down or cried at all yet. There's certainly plenty of pressure, and I was late with all of my projects for my workstudy job, and I asked for an extension in Photography II (first extension I have ever asked for in my entire life), and still not a tear. And I still have three large projects to finish for tomorrow and Friday. Here's hoping the spell of calmness lasts. I have got to get a full night's sleep tonight, though, or I'm going to lose it.

Another professorial quote that gets full marks: "Mina Shaughnessy is so way cool - but she's dead." -Jean Corey. Maybe it was the delivery. Speaking of delivery, did you know Liz Laribee once accidentally mailed something to Croatia?

dragons, are your teeth falling out during battle? get poligrip denture adhesive!

Fall break, fall break, doot-do-doot-do-doot-do. (You can't see me, obviously, but I'm singing a little song and doing the happy dance, which consists of waving my hands in circles and swaying side to side to an imaginary ice-cream truck beat.)

If you laugh during research when you read: "Petrarchan poetry tends to loop back onto the reflexive theme of Petrarchan poetry," then you're either an English major who studied under Crystal Downing, or you're seriously sleep-deprived. I think it might be both....

Mmm, so, life is going pretty good right now. I'm not getting enough sleep, but maybe I'm used to that. I have a boatload of work to do over break, of course. My abusive boyfriend (read: art major) is treating me pretty well right now, actually. We'll see how it goes as I start working on the next project. The Minnemingo deadline is today, and I'm still not sure whether I really want to submit anything, and if so, what I would submit....

Meh. It will work out.

Did you notice? I used ellipses today. Hmmm.

a midsummer night's wookie

Coconut rice? Equals uber good community luncheon. Seeing people in Philly also equals uber good. Wasting time this morning? Felt uber good, probably not uber good for the overall state of my mental health.

Postsecret? An uber-interesting collaborative art project of sorts, which we discussed in our composition theory & pedagogy class. Sometimes really disturbing, but very very interesting.

Lunch? Oh so uber ready. And me? Oh so uber hungry. What an uber-ly felicitous combination.

"steve, why is the golem making out with a car?"

Ok, so, I'm headed to Philly! Wooh! I'll be back on... Saturday night sometime. And Sunday will be spent doing ridiculous amounts of homework.

I thought of another way to inconvenience awkward makeout couples. Walk up to any making-out couple (go on, there are plenty of them around, just try and choose a nonviolent looking pair), and deliver, with as much panache as you can muster, a strange sex fact. Statistics would also probably work, as long as they were sufficiently bizarre. I haven't quite worked out the best method of leaving the scene, however. Further advice will be forthcoming.

Annie Dillard's advice to young writers: "Never, ever get yourself into a situation where you have nothing to do but write and read. You'll go into depression. You have to be doing something good for the world, something undeniably useful; you need exercise, too, and people."

My favorite new factoid about the Spartan women of old? They were apparently called "those who dare to reveal their thighs" by other, less bold, greek women. Factoid brought to you by Ruth, official broadener of horizons of the Simple Living House. Yes, we actually started a facebook group about our house, titled "Simple (simply crazy) living house"... with rather pointed disclaimers that "'crazy living' does not include drinking, smoking, wild sex, or any other violation of the community covenant." Just to make that clear. Although we do tend to discuss infractions of the community covenant fairly frequently.

Ok, it's off to get more of my favorite caffeinery sauce (and change the laundry).

to sleep, perhance to dream, aye, there's the rub

You might accidentally not get up when your alarm goes off. And get ten hours of sleep, which is great, but I really needed to be in the darkroom instead.

My norton anthology was actually funny last night. It was talking about the crazy consecutive changes in religion that happened in England during the reign of Henry VIII (took catholicism into his own hands, away from the pope) and his children (very very protestant son, very very catholic daughter, conservative protestant daughter who made the church more like the anglican church is today). Now, those changes in and of themselves may not be funny, but the editor's conclusion is: "It was enough to make people wary. Or skeptical. Or extremely agile."

Now, if there's one thing I expect from the norton anthology, it's boredom (and it always, faithfully, delivers). Who knew that the editors were actually human, with a sense of humor and the guts to insert a joke into the anthology of doom (I swear, that thing weighs as much as a hippo)?

i woke up from a dream about an empty funeral

but it was better than the party full of people i don't really know....

I probably start too many posts with the word "blarg." But can I give an emphatic blarg here? (haha... blarg on the blog, get it? I know. Terrible pun. Anyway.) Research makes me want to stab my eyes out. Primary problem: I am unable to come up with a unique reading of anything. Or else I get really interested in a part of the text that no one has done anything on before. Which would be fine if I was merely writing an interpretive paper, but when you're writing a research paper, you've got to be able to incorporate research into it (how's that for absurd?).

Other than research, my life is peachy. I found out that the English honors society is called Sigma Tau Delta, so their acronym is STD. Talk about unfortunate. Probably they refer to it as the chapter name, Sigma Upsilon. Then they could abbreviate it SUp. And be all... hip, you know.

on the brink of this destruction, on the eve of bittersweet

Hi.

Yes, it's me again. I hope you enjoyed the poem. If you didn't read it, you should. It's one that poem-experts and peom-haters alike can appreciate.

I feel like I'm having kind of a vocational crisis. That is, I'm firmly convinced that I can't do anything I want to do with my life. I can't be an artist, I can't be a poet, I can't be a writer, or a teacher, because I simply lack all the skill sets and talents needed for any of the above mentioned careers. I think I might be good at being a nun, though, except that I'd work on my book instead of praying, probably.

Has anybody ever heard of Duane Michals before? He'd probably offend most of you, but he makes the craziest sequences... and I'm kind of jealous that he combined words and photographs before I got around to it. And that he smashes genre and documentary considerations with ease on his way to self-expression. But I think I might like him a lot in spite of my jealousy.

Also? Today is Jenn's birthday! Happy birthday Jenn of the twenty years old! (Haha, now you're old, too!) And may it be filled with twenty times more fun and twenty times less homework than the year before. = )