Thursday, March 03, 2005

Stupid Essay

Well, that was a speedy resolution to one of my problems. I have a roommate for next year. One who sleeps at night and everything! = )

And.... the poetic identity crisis is still going strong, only it's been joined by an all-around academic identity crisis, or at least an all-around ability-crisis. I feel like I can't do anything, I don't want to do anything, I'm sick of trying, I can never be the best or even good, I hate everything, I just want to go home. Someplace where they already know how incompetent I am and they love me anyway!

Can I just say that I hate Bible papers really a lot? I mean really really really a lot. I keep thinking (with the procrastinating half of my brain) that if I leave it long enough, it will write itself just as easily as the roommate question resolved itself. And then my perfectionistic half starts screaming and wailing and saying, "It won't be any good! I know it won't be! I don't want to turn in anything that sucks!" And my evil half (Yes, that was three halves) says "Hey, I wonder if you can get someone to tell you the answers?" And then the other two halves start beating it with sticks. After which the fourth half shouts for them to all shut up, and of course they don't. It's like a dual-personality shouting match in my head. No wonder I can't write the stupid essay.

Alright then, I'm going to go write the stupid essay.

7 comments:

Captain Shar said...

I seem to be growing as "the villain." You came to ME about the Bible paper. (Wait! Doesn't helping with a Bible paper violate the code of the villains? Excuse me while I have an identity crisis...Oh! Nevermind. I just remembered that the first rule in the code is that you must break all codes. So, I'm fine. And yes, I just proposed a paradox.)

No, seriously, if you've given something your own thought, it doesn't hurt to get a second opinion.

Mackenzie said...

Yes, but I only came to you AFTER I'd thought it all out, so it's not really a villanous act. You certainly articulated things better than I had, but they were basically the same thoughts.

And who says paradoxes are bad? They make life so much fun....

Andrew said...

Paradoxes are great.

In other news, your potential roommate is a very, very great person.

Mackenzie said...

I think we'll get along well. = )

Captain Shar said...

That's what I said in my non-villainous second paragraph. Only the villain blames you. Not Aravis. And not even the Pixie, at the moment. Though she likes paradoxes.

Captain Shar said...

Didn't you notice? It was only the villain who blamed you. Aravis says you're fine. And so, on this occasion, does the pixie. But the pixie likes paradoxes.

Captain Shar said...

OK. That was wierd. I posted the first comment last night, didn't see it this morning, so said it again.