Thursday, July 07, 2005

When Paxton Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy

Introducing: The Most Half-Assed Day Of My Life.

Ordinarily I wouldn't use that word. You know which one. The one that made most of you wince. This is, after all, a G-rated blog, as I have reminded my rapt audience many times, but really, this is the only word capable of expressing my utter annoyance with and contempt for myself. Mom says not to dwell on it. Ha. So I get over a week and a half of being seriously depressed, not to mention biting the heads off of my entire family and PMSing, only to completely screw up biology. I won't rant about it again. I've ranted many times today and the refrain is getting old - and you'd probably all be bored. It's enough to know that I have screwed up just about everything I could possibly screw up in the past two weeks concering my biology class. I've been even stupider than that day I backed into my grandparents' car over Thanksgiving break. Yes, I've been that stupid.

At least I was able to work off some of my contempt for myself on the annoying, pushy, seriously donkey-headed patients who came in today. Honestly, what kind of person grows up thinking that an entire doctor's office is going to cater to their specific schedule and put them ahead of all other patients, although they arrived twenty minutes later?

No, don't worry. I wasn't rude. But I was firm. I'm getting quite good at misdirecting and shifting responsibility. There's a special amount of time you wait before giving in on some little thing, whatever it may be, so they feel that they've won a concession from you. Be courteous. Be apologetic. But simply say that it's not possible. Say, I know. I understand. I apologize. I've done as you asked, ma'am, I'm sorry, I'm not responsible for that. This is the chain of command and after the note leaves my hands, there's not much I can do. I can find out for you. Yes ma'am. No ma'am, I'm sorry, but there's no way we can do that. Patient confidentiality, I'm sorry. I don't make the laws.

I've also observed that patients don't really like humor. Don't blame them I guess. Who wants jokes when you're sick? All you want is to see the doctor.

Babies are a great distraction factor though. Even when he's cranky (as he was today - oy oy oy was he cranky - ) people are almost ashamed to be butt-heads when he's around. Although the particularly annoying patients don't always let that deter them.

I feel like he's the main conversation piece of the office.

Ah well. I feel the need for my hot drink coming on. I've taken to drinking something hot in the mornings and something hot at night. A comfort thing I guess. It's probably not particularly healthy, but at this point, who gives a crap? I've already gained fifteen pounds. And i'd rather be comfortable right now than think about gaining weight, especially after the day I've had.

Night all. Here's to happiness!

{Mackenzie raises her mug in sarcastic salute}

...Someone pass me the tranquilizers.

1 comment:

Captain Shar said...

Have a great day, Mackenzie! Patience for quote my mom as she walked past and asked what I was reading. You're not the only one.