Coping

"What did I just make you - tea, right?" the coffee shop lady asked, handing me my cup as I handed her my money and punch-card in the age old fashion of coffee shops. "Yeah," I said, chatting a little bit with her about those days when your mind just loses itself somewhere (I've been having a lot of those lately). As I took my cup and started leaving, she asked me, "Do you have a coffee card?" "You mean one of those punch cards?" I asked. "Yeah," she said, looking expectantly at me. "You just punched it," I said.

See? I'm not the only one losing my mind.

Today I woke up thoroughly ashamed of my childish outbursts of emotion.

Well, that's what I would've liked to have happened. Instead, I woke up with exactly the same ticked-off attitude, and still with that awful crying-feeling behind my eyes.

Obviously I hadn't slept enough.

I went through work, decidedly unsettled because it was my last day of actual office work. Next week, I'm helping the Dupper kids with school. I actually felt sort of nostalgic, leaving that office for the last time. I hate to end things on a bad note.

At the coffee shop, I started firmly coping. And by coping I mean I got a very large glass of hot chai tea and clutched it desperately in one hand while scribbling wildly with the other. I didn't really get much writing done, but I calmed myself down a bit. I think. Then home for a long hot shower (also something I found works very well to give one a slightly better grip on sanity) and now I'm making lists - itemized, categorized, exhaustive and probably completely useless lists of everything I need to pack for college. I'm sure I'll lose them within a day or two, but hey, at least they make it look like I'm planning ahead and have a sense of purpose, right?