i loved you first

- Regina Spektor

"November soldiered on. more snow fell, a lot of it. students retreated to their rooms, some to try out what they'd learned at the sex lecture, most to get cracking on the papers that were due before thanksgiving break."

I forget where I found that quote, but I kind of liked it. It made me chuckle.

I think that today I've had enough of artistry. I just need a little plain speaking, a little conversation with you. I'm full up and don't have anything poetic left at all; I don't have any imagery to share with you. I'm not worried about striving for inspiration. Right now, at this moment, what's right in front of me is enough, without interpretation and without embellishment.

I can move into my apartment next Friday! That thought makes me excited. Also: Today I get my first paycheck! That is a much-anticipated event, let me tell you. Also, Elena is coming this weekend!

Also, for the first time, I filled my ipod full. And. . . I didn't even fit all the music I wanted on there. Hmm. This may be indicative of something. . . .

My most recent idea for senior show is this: maybe, even though I love photography, and even though I rearranged my schedule crazy-like last fall to be able to work it, I won't do photography for my show. Is that insane? It's definitely bucking expectations. But I'm kind of over wanting to do what's expected of me. What's the point of being a senior if I can't start directing my own course a little?

My other most recent idea is for a short series of woodblock prints. And actually, I think it's a pretty good idea. Maybe not phenomenal, but good enough that I want to pursue it. And you know, since Advanced 2-D studies next semester should be all about the work that I want to do, and discovering my voice and all that stuff, maybe I can even complete it in that class if I can't get it finished in this last month of summer. Printmaking is, after all, a two-dimensional art.

I'll miss the way weekends are this summer. I always look forward to them so much, the sleeping and the hanging out. Time for poetry if I want to write it, time for reading, time for conversation, making meals. But you know, I figured out that I could get all B's next semester and still my cumulative GPA would be above 3.6. So, given that the requirement has dropped to 3.4, I'm basically golden. I can relax a little, if I can manage to convince myself that it's alright not to do my absolute best at everything, if I can talk myself into not wanting all A's. = )

Alright, I think I'm done here. I'll be away most of the weekend, so I may not update.
Love to all,
Mackenzie

P.S. The President's Report had a title: "Embracing life: Integrated learning is key." Only I saw it out of the corner of my eye and thought it said: "Embracing life: Integrated learning is sexy."

P. P. S. "Sometime I don't think we necessarily need to hear God speak - what has been given to me has been God speaking." - Fellistus K. Munakombwe

Countdown: 11