a dresser drawer

I am here at Messiah College! I am, unfortunately, not fully installed in my house. The reason? They didn't bring a sixth dresser, wardrobe, or desk to the house. And at one point there wasn't a sixth bed, either, although they remedied that before I arrived, thank goodness. So today I called Doug Woods and put a bug in his ear, and he said I should have furniture by the end of the week at the latest, and hopefully by the end of today. In the meantime (Did I spell that right? It looks wrong), the vast majority of my belongings are still just hanging out in my car.

Also, the house has no air conditioning. So it's really hot in there. And that's going to take some getting used to. It really is a super cute house, though, and I think once we have a couple of days, or maybe a week, to settle in, I'm going to like living there. I was kind of depressed last night because I spent three hours stuck in traffic (the 7 hour trip from my aunt & uncle's house to here took me 10 hours) and then didn't have furniture so I couldn't even unpack and when I got to the house there was no one there. But then we had bonding time + tea, and they assured me that I could get more furniture, and I slept and feel much better. Although you can tell I'm still nervous, because I'm talking in run-on sentences.

Lots of loves,
Mackenzie

Are you sure it's time for school to start? you didn't, you know, accidentally tear two months at once off our calendar?

i'm not lazy, i'm relaxed

I am the proud owner of a crockpot! A lovely, 5-quart crockpot. And a teapot. And three mugs (but I've had those for a while).

And I really did start packing. I made almost no progress, but I started, which I think deserves accolades... from some... national accolades-for-packing service.

Has anyone else enjoyed AskANinja.com? Not always hysterical, but hysterical at least 75% of the time.

You know what I discovered yesterday? I'm terrible at figuring out sportswear. I went to get some shorts for aerobics class (I know. It's horrible. I'm actually going to have to shave on a regular basis. I'm thinking of getting that laser hair-removal thing when I grow up. It would save hours and hours of my time every week.) and there were so many options, and so many bike shorts masquerading as actual shorts that it was a very aggravating task. Also, the wearing of the sports-empowering undergarments as garments in and of themselves? Not so much for me.

Sorry, I just realized how incredibly girly that last paragraph was. I should start posting a warning right before I start talking about clothes or shaving. Or PMS. Ooh, let's have a poll! Should the warning word be:

A: Couscous
B: Lemon
or
C: Petunia

does the rain have a mother?

I do! And mine is telling me I should start packing. I also have a little anti-mother in my head, though, that says, "Three days before you have to move back to Pennsylvania, and you haven't packed a single bag, box, or suitcase? No problem. Just chill. You've only got three more days to chill." You can guess which one's right, and also which one I really want to listen to.

is the mole the explicator of the lawn?

I was reading about Eleanor Wilner today (the above quote is from her poem "The Interview") and she sounds really interesting. Just as a side note.

My two favorite titles ever? I think they'd boil down to "What Narcissism Means to Me" and "Invincible Obsessed Fighter". The first is my favorite because it's some crazy intellectual wordplay (even though I have no idea what the actual book is about), and the second is my favorite because it's so very, very terrible in both title and premise. "Invincible Obsessed Fighter" is a kung-fu movie set in China. The protagonist? According to the back of the movie, he's named Chuck. Yes, he's named Chuck, even though the movie is set in China. The protagonist's father? He's called Fat Ho. Not even kidding. I find myself hoping that it's some kind of comedy, and maybe IMDB just accidentally listed its genre as action/drama. In any case, I might rent it. Just for the sheer, hysterical pleasure of saying I've seen a movie called "Invincible Obsessed Fighter."

Is it a measure of my dorkiness that I consistently have at least four tabs open at once when I'm on the internet? And when I'm blogging, the number jumps closer to eight. I knew you'd all be wildly interested in this new and brilliant observation.

Am I still looking forward to school? Oh, sure. About as much as I want to pack all of my crap into a tiny green car for the fourth time.

Who else is totally in love with the singing Snickers commercial? It's pretty much the most amazing thing ever. Dad's reaction? "He's playing a left-handed guitar right-handed." I was reminded of it by today's Able and Baker. Rock on regional nougat sculpting contests.

I think this quote deserves inclusion in today's blog post: "Luke! I am the excrutiating smell in your life!"

Also, I'm done upholstering!!!!!!!!!! Hands are kind of sore... but the chair looks a full 85% better. Someday I'll post the before and after pictures. But today, I deem this post to have gone on fully long enough (and maybe too long).

varying degrees of draconic fierceness: climate as affecting heat and intensity of dragon flame

I would like to write that essay. Jenn suggested it (give credit where credit is due, and also wild plaudits for great senior thesis paper ideas). Don't you think Crystal Downing (heteroglossia!) would love reading that paper? Probably a lot would get lost in filtration... but it could still be fun!

Five days from heading back to school and I think the adrenaline is finally kicking in. Today, I might even get some things done. Go me.

Quotes from the weekend 'camping' trip:

"We could go... count coupe on a grizzly bear."

"My dream is to be a chicken-juggler."

"I have to Mike Wallace, for real!"

"Oh look! It's little teenage punks!"
"Hi, teenage punks!"

"A lot more than I thought got lost in filtration."

"That closet smells good. You should just leave it open and... have a barbecue."

"i see the boogers of postmodernism everywhere!"

-Jenn

We're going out of towns for a coupla days. So loves and farewells and things like that. I know you'll all miss me most sorely for the next... two days. I know I'll miss the internets.

I've discovered that I love randomly pluralizing things. I think it's the new waves of the English future. By which I mean, it's the newest, most fashionable way to corrupt our language! Woo!

"power suit, despite its laughable lack of titanium armor and proton guns"

- Terry Pratchett

"And worst of all, he talks in his sleep! 'I'm the mighty Inspector Japp, you can't escape from me! Grab that man, he's holding a blancmange!"
- Watson

Am I jealous of people who are dedicated? Yeah, I think so. Do I actually want to go out and be dedicated? No, not really. I'd just like to reap the rewards, thank you very much.

This summer has been great. I've done some things I like, and I've earned some money, and above all I've had plenty of time to kick back, relax, and waste time. So maybe my social life wasn't the most exciting, and so maybe I didn't actually make a lot of progress at anything, but it was still great.

And now I have to go back to school and be under stress and think about my GPA and homework and tests and projects and living up to expectations and getting at most seven hours of sleep a night. I put no commas in that sentence because in my head it sounds very panicked and comma-less.

I mean, learning things is great, but I just wish I was better at balancing slacker time and working time. Does this come with age? I hope so.

I was also thinking about communion. There's all that stuff in the Bible about taking communion in the right spirit, or the Holy Spirit will strike you dead. Yes, that's a wild paraphrase. But I was just wondering how many of us would still take communion every month (or every week, whatever tradition your church goes by) if we really believed that if we took it in the wrong spirit we'd be struck dead. I'd like to think I'm an honest person and really wouldn't take communion if I didn't feel like I should, but there's kind of a peer pressure about communion, just like there is about hot chocolate or drugs. If you don't take communion, people are going to ask you why. Or they're going to wonder if you were never baptized. They're going to think about it, note it down (because, after all, we watch each other the most during a solemn moment, to make sure we're reacting the right way). And church, in God's presence, of all places, is where you're supposed to belong, right? So why jeopordize belonging just because you don't feel particularly contrite or receptive or whatever the heck the right spirit is supposed to be?

I feel like I sound bitter about church. But I don't feel bitter. I thought I would note that down, since this is a blog and you can't hear my tone of voice. Also, Mom just told me to do the dishes, and maybe my irritation with actually having to do some kind of chore - I'm a college student! Omnipotent and free! I'm above chores! - overflowed into my blog post. I'm just trying to be realistic about the herd mentality of humanity, church or no church. I wonder if that makes God kind of like the dog whisperer? You know - he tries to assert himself as the leader of our pack so we'll stop peeing on the carpet and biting the other dogs. But we're kind of stupid dogs, and not at all good at being housebroken.

the spinal cord has everything under control

Or actually it might not. Because tonight I burned some rice. I didn't even know you could burn rice.

"When I was little, I put a lot of things in buckets." That's how my brother's autobiography should start. Mom was going through funny stories about Aaron's childhood for possible inclusion in some kind of essay, and a surprisingly huge amount of them involved him putting animals (the squirrel and mouse were alive. All of the fish were dead.) in buckets or jars. Also, one time when Mom was sick he made lunch for everyone: chips, carrots, and water. He was five.

Tomorrow begins the real work of upholstering. Yarrgh. (I'm a... re-upholstery pirate? Me left eye got stabbed out in pursuit of... the... elusive white chair? The elusive white man-eating chair! Yarr, I remembers it just like yesterday. It was fearsome in its floral fierceness....)

"For example, it recently emerged that the famous glass artist Dale Chihuly hasn't actually blown glass for 27 years. He has assistants do the work for him. But one of the most valuable sources of ideas in the visual arts is the resistance of the medium. That's why oil paintings look so different from watercolors. In principle you could make any mark in any medium; in practice the medium steers you. And if you're no longer doing the work yourself, you stop learning from this.

So if you want to beat those eminent enough to delegate, one way to do it is to take advantage of direct contact with the medium. In the arts it's obvious how: blow your own glass, edit your own films, stage your own plays. And in the process pay close attention to accidents and to new ideas you have on the fly."

my profile: shapely

That's what Aaron's new AIM profile says. And I feel prodigiously proud because I was there at that moment in time.

Another of my new favorite quotes is "Your Myspace Makes Me Want to Punch Babies." I was going to link to the fantastic little stick figure illustration that went with it, but I couldn't find it. I did, however, stumble upon a compilation of the stupidest myspace hairdoes ever, which was pretty entertaining. Do I support freedom of expression? You bet. Do I support hairdoes like those? Heck no!

Alrights, loves, I gotta go finish my laundry and also re-upholster and sew and pack and clean and all of those necessary but oh-so-unpleasant things.

Eleven days and counting.

contrition... yes.

Well, first off, Michigan was great. It was fantastic to see Jenn again, and I finally got to meet her boyfriend. (In my head, I still call him "Jenn's new boyfriend," even though they've been dating for something close to ten months now. I should probably start thinking of him by his name, which is Roy.) The week was over waaaay too quickly. We saw some good movies, and hung out at Lex (Lexington, Michigan. Near Lake Huron? They have a cottage there) and swam for all of five minutes. I should prolly get over my fear of swimming where things live. But it still rocked. And... what can I say? It was great. And I miss Jenn again already.

Going to Ohio was cool, too, if weird. I've been out of touch with my older cousins for a good three years at least. I remember them being a lot taller.... Anyway, so they're married! And I met their spouses! Weird. Also, another of my cousins got engaged during the party! And another of my cousins is having her second son this year. And one of the kids from Riverwood (our church in Michigan) that's pretty close to my age got married last Saturday, too. I think all of it gave Mom a little shock to the system - and made her super glad I'm not dating anyone right now. = )

It's getting to be that time of year again, where everyone gears up for school. In Bible Quizzing this year, they're studying Acts. Which takes me back. That was the first book I studied! Good times, good times. Makes me almost a little nostalgic, except that I really don't have time for quizzing, even if they had a college league.

The one thing that stresses me out most about going back to school this year is my independent study, Photo II. I e-mailed Andy Bale to see if he had a tentative schedule in mind, and what supplies I should order before I come to school, and have heard absolutely nothing from him. Dangit. I just hope that goes well, because if I hate him as a professor, I can't very well hide among the other students, can I?

It's also the time of year when I look back and evaluate my progress on my summer to-do list. I really didn't get very far teaching painting. We 're not even going to finish one painting before I go back to school. I could leave assignments for them, but I kinda doubt my students would comply with my parting instructions, even if they are related to me. I found out that ideal book length is between 70,000 and 75,000 words, and I only have close to 20,000 written, and I'm about halfway through plotting.

What do I need to finish before I go? I need to finish upholstering, finish Mom's skirt, pack up, buy some more notebooks and things, all of that good stuff. The countdown stands at 12 days, heaven help us all.

And also, I just got selected for jury duty... in October. In Harrisburg, PA. Maybe I can get out of it because I'm a student? And October is a school month? Aaron says he hopes I'd get a huge blockbuster murder case and have to be sequestered. Do you have any idea how much homework I'd have to catch up on?!

silence carries no apprehension here

Oh, I should probably also mention that I'm going to be gone until the 13th of August. To Ohio and Michigan. Wo0t. So if you need to get ahold of me... maybe e-mail? or the cell number if you have it, and if not... well, I don't really use my cell phone anyway. I'm easing onto the slippery slope of cell phone use so that hopefully it doesn't transform me into a rude hooligan of some sort.

The chair we're re-upholstering is now just a foam form waiting for the "re" part. Unfortunately I hit a lazy streak. And also I was planning and making a meal.

Also, in funny news, I asked my father to buy me some alcohol. White wine, to be exact. It sounds hysterical when you say it like that (me? conform to the teenage steriotype of getting someone to acquire booze for my consumption?), but really the salmon recipe just called for some. So it's quite ordinary and I have done no drinking (fear not, family members and conservative friends!). Trying to open the bottle this afternoon was pretty hysterical though, since we don't actually have a corkscrew. Luckily we did find a swiss army knife, handily equipped to deal with corks.

So! It's off to the wild northern hinterlands for me!

hey baby, let's get metaphysical

According to Jenn's recent blog, that's the worst pick-up line ever. Pretty hysterical, no?

Did you guys see the new visiting hours? Upperclassmen dorms have almost twice as many as the underclassmen dorms, and apartments have 12-12 every day. I wonder if the Simple Living house counts as an apartment or an upperclass dorm? Or maybe we count as neither, and can set whatever arbitrary visiting hours we want? We already decided upstairs is off-limits to guys, which I think is a fantastic idea (I mean, we have a whole house! No need for them to come poking around in our bedrooms and study room), but as to other guy-visiting-etiquette, we have been less than decisive. Of my 5 housemates, 2 are engaged, 1 probably will be very soon, 1 intends to become a nun, and 1 person is unattached. So we've all stages of commitment to accomodate.

Also, I had a donut for breakfast this morning. I'll lose those 5 pounds later.

as long as there is one smoldering coal in the barbecue of justice, we can still cook up a giant steak of victory!

Upholstery. Upholstery upholstery upholsteryupholsteryupholstery.

Upholstery is a hard word to spell several times in a row. So it's a good thing that as long as there is a single slice of meat on the deli tray of justice, our sandwich of righteousness will always be a low-fat and tasty victory!

You get at least twenty pionts if you can identify the source of either of those quotes, and another twenty if you don't laugh at me for quoting them.

We're re-upholstering this super ugly chair we have. And I'm earning all kinds of new blisters from the process. But it's kind of heartening to learn a real-life skill that you can put to practical use. Maybe if I can't find work as an artist after I graduate I could re-upholster things.