Oh. No. I've become one of those people I despise, who keep a blog but only update once a month!
In my defense, it's because I have a crapload of work that I don't like. That means most of my energy is taken up by work. The other portion of my energy is taken up by whining and acting melodramatic about how much I don't like doing this work.
My senior show piece almost fell down today. I need to think of a great way to thank Daniel Finch for keeping an eye on my piece every day and for calling me when something was wrong and for keeping it from falling down until I got there. And then fixing it while I just sort of lended a hand.
Oh man, talk about drama. Next time I do a sculpture, I will find a less maintenance-intense way of hanging it. Or else I will just make something that hangs on a wall. (I'm starting to say that without any real conviction. . . I might consider doing an installation again.)
Tomorrow I have a paper due, today a copy of my honors project is due to the English faculty so I have to quickly finish revising and then send it to Professor Perrin, Monday my portfolio and resume are due for senior show class, next Wednesday I give my poetry reading, then it's just my research paper, modern art history final exam, dis-assembling the show, and finishing my writing seminar paper. I think. I hope I didn't forget anything.
So. Whew. Keeping my show alive. . . . good times, good times.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
finally the weather's turning
I just realized: I haven't posted since before senior show. Wow! That is a long time. In fact, I haven't posted since before spring break. If you want to read my immediate post-show reflections, you can catch up here, at my Messiah College blog.
I'm just trying to touch ground again now. The whole week before show, busy with installing (I only made it to one class period that entire week), I realized that there is a sort of purity to those days when you are so focused on a demanding project that you completely lost yourself. There is no more time to prevaricate, to distract yourself. The piece must be finished, it must be finished now. And if you are lucky, the piece is worth pouring yourself into until it's done.
Making it to church the day after show opening surprised me. One, that I was able to get up in time surprised me. Two, liturgical churches have a season of Easter, not just one Sunday. So the entire liturgy was again a celebration of Easter and resurrection, full of delight and loud, triumphant hymns. You can imagine how appropriate it felt to me! I came out of a long night, whose labor was worthwhile, into a celebration.
Now, after living in the gallery for a week, I haven't been to see my show in a couple of days, and that's alright. I've stopped worrying that it might fall down. I've never done something so ambitious, so risky, so hard, or so worthwhile (and yes, I'll admit that the fact that so many people really loved it helped make it worthwhile!).
Maybe that's why I'm letting it go without any of that post-show depression some people are feeling. I can't imagine doing anything differently, trying any harder, and in the wake of it all I'm exhausted, but things like stealing 30 minutes for video games, the sun today instead of the predicted thunderstorms, the taste of tomatoes, the sound of the Flaming Lips in my ears -- everything has a little more savor, a little more delight taken in the fact that I am taking time to notice them.
It sounds dramatic, but it's true. There's still a lot to do, but one gigantic load is gone from my shoulders. And I'm a little sad that there are no more nights of camaraderie in the gallery working, but mostly it is all very good.
I'm just trying to touch ground again now. The whole week before show, busy with installing (I only made it to one class period that entire week), I realized that there is a sort of purity to those days when you are so focused on a demanding project that you completely lost yourself. There is no more time to prevaricate, to distract yourself. The piece must be finished, it must be finished now. And if you are lucky, the piece is worth pouring yourself into until it's done.
Making it to church the day after show opening surprised me. One, that I was able to get up in time surprised me. Two, liturgical churches have a season of Easter, not just one Sunday. So the entire liturgy was again a celebration of Easter and resurrection, full of delight and loud, triumphant hymns. You can imagine how appropriate it felt to me! I came out of a long night, whose labor was worthwhile, into a celebration.
Now, after living in the gallery for a week, I haven't been to see my show in a couple of days, and that's alright. I've stopped worrying that it might fall down. I've never done something so ambitious, so risky, so hard, or so worthwhile (and yes, I'll admit that the fact that so many people really loved it helped make it worthwhile!).
Maybe that's why I'm letting it go without any of that post-show depression some people are feeling. I can't imagine doing anything differently, trying any harder, and in the wake of it all I'm exhausted, but things like stealing 30 minutes for video games, the sun today instead of the predicted thunderstorms, the taste of tomatoes, the sound of the Flaming Lips in my ears -- everything has a little more savor, a little more delight taken in the fact that I am taking time to notice them.
It sounds dramatic, but it's true. There's still a lot to do, but one gigantic load is gone from my shoulders. And I'm a little sad that there are no more nights of camaraderie in the gallery working, but mostly it is all very good.
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