"bam, swoosh, checks everywhere!"

- Kristin Widener

I feel kind of manic BECAUSE GUESS WHAT IT'S FRIDAY! And I had a large cup of coffee, and a good laugh at Andy Bale, Daniel Finch, and Brent Good (to whom I confessed that I did his research paper the night before, which was probably not wise, but I am what you might call SLAPHAPPY). Poor Daniel Finch was talking about some distracting elements in a photograph (he thought it should have been cropped somewhat differently) and we accumulated a group of about eight college students laughing hysterically about it and quoting Finding Nemo. He was a little embarrassed I think, and left until they all dispersed, and then I went and told him I was done laughing now and we finished having a little critique. I got a lot of great feedback, and everyone kept telling me how smart the sequence was, although obviously not perfect (I got a lot of good feedback and criticism), so my self-esteem is really high right now.

And I love that professors start relating to you as an equal if you just assume they will, and if you challenge them occasionally and act responsibly and speak articulately (Andy Bale said my proposal about my end-of-semester project was one of the most thoughtful he'd ever gotten). And I also invited Andy Bale and his wife over for dinner, and they said they'd come (we just have to figure out when) so that's really cool too, and I'm looking forward to it.

I take it back. I do feel different now that I'm 20. Or maybe it's because I'm a junior, who knows? But I feel like I can talk to professors as a fellow adult, and like they're starting to take me seriously. I also feel like I have more freedom with my work. I don't have a voice quite yet, but there are definitely things I'd like to explore, and I don't feel bad rejecting professors' suggestions about the directions I should take (sometimes, at least). I guess what I mean by that is that I feel like I own my work more. Like no matter what the assignment, I can work in my own kind of fun. Or I feel more daring about saying things I want to say rather than constantly trying to determine what the professor wants to hear, or something. Does that make sense? Hopefully yes.

This week has been full of grace, you know that? It could have been so much worse. I didn't have breakdowns, I turned in some decent work, I even had a little bit of fun today. Obviously, I don't want to be this sleep-deprived all the time, but for everything that needed to get done, I feel like it went really, really well. I have a boatload of work to do over the weekend, but I'm definitely not going to let it interfere with my sleep.

Lots and lots of loves to all,
Teh Kenzie