a what now? a count up?

Graduating was so weird. I literally had no idea how to spend my time, especially when I was looking for a job. And after I found a job, I came home and read books and played video games and watched TV and felt vaguely bored and miserable.

But after several months of not knowing what to do with my life, I am happy to find out that after I get home from work one of the first things I consistently want to do is do art. It's just enjoyable. I do all those other slacker-face things, too, as well as occasionally the dishes, I cook good dinners. . . and I also do art. For fun. Because I like it and that's how I want to spend my time. Wow. You know what this means?

I didn't produce art for all the scary professors standing over my shoulder all four years of college. I did it because of me.

In other words, I went into the art major for the right reasons, and that major gave me valuable tools to enhance the quality and viability of what I do for fun anyway. Gone are the days of throwing a temper tantrum because my tree drawing looks rather more like a stalk of mangled celery. It looks rather like a tree, so I'm satisfied.

Art is maybe even. . . a vocation?

So I'm no longer afraid I'll be one of those art-school casualties who either (a) had all the fun kicked out of creativity by school or (b) will stop working within a year after graduation for some combination of reasons.

Now I'm only worried that (c) I'll get too complacent with a life where I can earn a living with something dumb and make art on the side or (d) it will get too hard to take my art seriously in the real-world atmosphere and it will become a hobby, without any bones or honesty or strength in it.

The moral of the story is, to celebrate my productivity/ensure that I don't slack off, I'm going to start a count-up. Like all my count downs but in reverse. I am going to count up 24 months in which I do not stop making art for more than a week at a time. (Except that I am still going to count my unemployed post-college month, where I did literally nothing but sit on the couch and read and hunt for jobs, for morale reasons and because I think I genuinely deserved a break.)

Also, I hope I get accepted into a grad school within those 24 months. In which case the count-up will change into a count-down to graduation again. =)

Count-up -- three months.