"power suit, despite its laughable lack of titanium armor and proton guns"

- Terry Pratchett

"And worst of all, he talks in his sleep! 'I'm the mighty Inspector Japp, you can't escape from me! Grab that man, he's holding a blancmange!"
- Watson

Am I jealous of people who are dedicated? Yeah, I think so. Do I actually want to go out and be dedicated? No, not really. I'd just like to reap the rewards, thank you very much.

This summer has been great. I've done some things I like, and I've earned some money, and above all I've had plenty of time to kick back, relax, and waste time. So maybe my social life wasn't the most exciting, and so maybe I didn't actually make a lot of progress at anything, but it was still great.

And now I have to go back to school and be under stress and think about my GPA and homework and tests and projects and living up to expectations and getting at most seven hours of sleep a night. I put no commas in that sentence because in my head it sounds very panicked and comma-less.

I mean, learning things is great, but I just wish I was better at balancing slacker time and working time. Does this come with age? I hope so.

I was also thinking about communion. There's all that stuff in the Bible about taking communion in the right spirit, or the Holy Spirit will strike you dead. Yes, that's a wild paraphrase. But I was just wondering how many of us would still take communion every month (or every week, whatever tradition your church goes by) if we really believed that if we took it in the wrong spirit we'd be struck dead. I'd like to think I'm an honest person and really wouldn't take communion if I didn't feel like I should, but there's kind of a peer pressure about communion, just like there is about hot chocolate or drugs. If you don't take communion, people are going to ask you why. Or they're going to wonder if you were never baptized. They're going to think about it, note it down (because, after all, we watch each other the most during a solemn moment, to make sure we're reacting the right way). And church, in God's presence, of all places, is where you're supposed to belong, right? So why jeopordize belonging just because you don't feel particularly contrite or receptive or whatever the heck the right spirit is supposed to be?

I feel like I sound bitter about church. But I don't feel bitter. I thought I would note that down, since this is a blog and you can't hear my tone of voice. Also, Mom just told me to do the dishes, and maybe my irritation with actually having to do some kind of chore - I'm a college student! Omnipotent and free! I'm above chores! - overflowed into my blog post. I'm just trying to be realistic about the herd mentality of humanity, church or no church. I wonder if that makes God kind of like the dog whisperer? You know - he tries to assert himself as the leader of our pack so we'll stop peeing on the carpet and biting the other dogs. But we're kind of stupid dogs, and not at all good at being housebroken.