is it because of cold feet that the bride and groom aren't supposed to see each other before the ceremony?

Why did the caterer automatically assume that we would like our punch to match our color scheme? Is it really something people ask about on a regular basis?
Why does the garter toss traditionally involve whoever catches it putting it back on whoever caught the bouquet? And did you know the higher he puts it the longer their marriage is supposed to be? How many other people run for the bathroom when it comes time for the bouquet toss? How does "engaged" still count as single for these events? Why is the cake such a big deal? I have never even liked cake that much. And from watching the food network, it looks like most wedding cakes sit around for three days before they even get to the wedding.

While I'm at this wedding thing, I wish somebody would answer all MY questions about the ridiculous particulars involved.

Oh, also, I wish I had eloped. At one point, Greg suggested a very quiet ceremony with just us and our immediate family members, then a reception with everyone who wanted to come. I kind of wish I'd taken him up on that idea because the closer it gets to time the more nervous I get about being one of the two centers of attention for such a meaningful moment. And I'm worried that an event with so many people at it can't possibly be the intimate moment it should be, even though I know all those people and like them.

Oh, and also, I'm worried that the week before the wedding I will be a bear, a crab, a cranky old lady who will hit you with her cane. And I really should behave well since it's my wedding. But I just want someone else to take care of it for me so I can drink tea and chat with my friends and family and go on dates with Greg and be in my new apartment. And sleep. A LOT. (although I have slept 7 hours for two nights in a row, so I think I've kicked the insomnia thing for a while)

The new apartment is lovely, by the way. I'm so impressed with it I could burst. I can't believe they let us sign a lease and put stuff in there -- we're really old enough for that? Are you sure? They must be joking. Are you serious that we could start having babies in a week if we wanted? Whaaaaaaat?

Anyway. That's my update. I'm thinking that brides and their blogs shouldn't be allowed to see each other for at least a week before the wedding. =)

even breathing feels alright

Yes, even bloggers take vacation!

And what an eventful (and yet blissfully relaxing) vacation it has been. We folded tons of origami orchids. We figured out where we're going to live. We drove 27 hours. We got "pounded" (apparently in the south when a party is thrown to outfit a new couple's kitchen with food it's called a pounding). Due to too much caffeine on the way home and being in a stranger's house at night, I slept somewhere around two restless hours last night and finally got out of bed at 4:30 a.m. I came to work this morning to find 43 unread messages in my inbox.

Yes, I can already see that it's going to be one of those weeks. One of those 11-12 day periods. (Only that much time separates me from getting married?)

In other news, we are seriously in need of some plastic ice cream buckets. If you can find me some, you will be my hero.

yay me!

I graduated!

And already I'm feeling a bit more sane. There are a few more things that became suddenly more pressing -- like finding an apartment and a full-time job -- but I finally have time to deal with all that. I've got time! It's crazy!

I've moved into the Vander Ark's house for the next month, tomorrow I'm going to the Snader's house for Christmas, and then I'm going home. Then back to get married and hopefully move into our marriage apartment.

Greg & I applied for an apartment, so hopefully we'll get it.

I will no longer receive mail at school -- I don't actually know where I could receive mail at all. I need an address.

And that's my update. Woot! No more homework for a while!

i haz a dilemma:

I can't sleep again.

Supposedly warm milk helps you sleep. Milk also makes you more congested.

If I have a bad cold but can't sleep, which is worse? extra congestion or lost sleep?

Also, can you explode an ear drum by sneezing?

yes, i know it's 2:30 a.m.

I really went to bed an hour ago, I promise. But I've been tossing and turning ever since.

What if the caterer doesn't show up to my wedding 36 days from now? That's what I've been wondering. How can I face 200 people and tell them they have to be hungry?

My absolute, worst case scenario stands this way: as long as we get 24 hours' notice that the caterer won't show up, we can get meat trays from the nearest grocery store, buy out their bread section, cut the crusts off said bread, make pretty signs with the formula for the finger sandwiches we planned to serve them, provide various and sundry supplies, rent some extra drink dispensers from Tents & Events, and have a picnic where guests can make their own sandwiches. Hopefully the youth of Greg's church/various relatives won't mind pitching in to make it all happen.

I even have my explanatory speech planned out, because it's 2:30 in the morning and I've been tossing and worrying for the last hour:

Welcome! We're so pleased all of you took the time to come to our wedding. When Greg and I started flirting just over two years ago, I don't think either of us had any idea that it would end up going this far. But we're obviously very excited. The road has not been without its bumps -- for instance, yesterday we got the call that the caterer couldn't make it to our wedding today. Yep, I'd call that a bump. [wait patiently for nervous laughter] So what we had originally planned to serve you, a high tea, has become more of a picnic instead. We've provided the ingredients for our favorite finger sandwiches and their formulas over here on the buffet, and if you don't mind, you can take a hand in making your own sandwiches. Over there in the back are the scones made by my lovely mother, and on the drink table is mint lemonade stockpiled by Grandma Beulah, hot water for tea, and coffee. Feel free to take your table's tea pot and fill it for your tablemates.

Again, thank you for coming. I hope you like picnics.

And this is why I gave up caffeine. Can you imagine a weddinged & caffeined & insomniac Mackenzie? Truly not a pretty sight.

Hey Mom, you know how I always thought hot milk was real gross? I'm finding it's calming. With a little honey in it to sweeten the deal.

oh dear oh dear oh dear oh dear oh dear oh dear oh dear oh dear oh dear oh dear oh dear oh dear

Here's how it stands, people:

I graduate in 9 days.
I get married in 39.

I can't stop thinking about all the crazy things that need to happen in between. But! Deep breath. It will be fine. Breathe in... breathe out. . .

We have kind of settled on Lancaster as a place to live. That's a little load off my mind. One of the main reasons we want to live there? The art scene. It has one. I know, shocking, right? Anyway. I want to get involved with other artists and galleries and have shows and things like that. So. We will. In Lancaster, Lord willing.

Keep your fingers crossed that we find a place to live in good time.

things are slowly falling into place

Firstly, I have a place to stay until I get married, thanks to Christine.

Secondly, Messiah hired me as a consultant for the month of January, so I'm going to be earning a paycheck, albeit a small one, in a month that otherwise might have passed without any productivity.

Thirdly, the lady at T-mobile is wildly helpful. Today a customer came in wanting to trade in an old phone that the store doesn't sell anymore -- so she nabbed it and is holding it for me. I can pick it up tomorrow. For free. The only catch is I have to buy a charger, but that's only like $20. She also found the unlocky-code thingy for Greg's AT&T phone, so he can move to the T-mobile plan. How rockin' is that? I've never met such a helpful salesman in my life.

So. We only have to find a permanent place to live and a permanent job. But you know, thinking about how much is falling into place in the last couple of days is encouraging. Somehow everything will work out fine. Somehow.

Wish me luck.