They Take Forever And Are Idiots Besides

So heres I am again, typing at the end of a long day, for heaven knows what reason.

Tomorrow's going to be a nightmare of a day. I have my last bio test (mwahahaha... *ahem ahem*.... *giggle?*) and then work. I have a ton of work I didn't get done today because I was covering for Barbara, and work that I didn't realize was there to be done because no one told me, and clinic is going to be absolutely wild, plus Paxton on hand. We have patients scheduled from 12:30 and going until 5:15 (normally it's 1-5), and half of them are the really difficult ones who take forever and are idiots besides, not to mention the patients who call in sick after not having seen the doctor for three years and we have to schedule extra time for that.... Yeah. Dr. Kathy's going to shoot me when she comes in tomorrow, unless Mom beats her to it. We'll be there until 7 at least. The Mom and Dr. Kathy might be there until 9. *sigh* If the Law of Office Misfortunes holds true (a little known corollary of Murphy's Law), I'll forget my lunch, the phones will also ring off the hook, three more sick patients will call in and need to be seen, and Paxton will have a hernia - or at least four temper tantrums. I can feel myself tensing up at the very thought of it. I only hope I don't come down with a smashing headache besides.

'K. Wow. I really did get tense there. My left shoulder is now killing me. I'll have to see if I can get that fixed.

Dirk Gently and the Holistic Detective Agency - I recommend it, although I don't actually remember much about it, other than I laughed a lot.

Tatas,
Gustav.

those who know don't have the words to tell/and those with the words don't know too well

Today was a very long day. Not much happened. I woke up late. Barely made it to work. Went to work, spent eleven hours there. Came home. Ate dinner. Read the paper. Now I'm blogging. Fascinating.

Tired.

Decoupage.

Ha. It went over so well last time that I thought I'd say it again.

The best quote from work today (thank Barbara for bringing it to my attention): "He has spaghetti in his foot and needs to be seen right away."

Alabama summers have only three temperature variations: Not Bad, Hot, and Well Nigh Unbearable. We're into Unbearable territory now. The heat index in the past couple days hit 113, and then the next day it hit 105. And we're not even into August yet.

Ooh, irony: a patient called in today, and I thought it was hilariously ironic that he had an accent almost identical to the one Matt used in his movie... except that it was completely natural. Yeah. That was pretty funny.

Loves to all.
Kenzie.

"Why should I be any less susceptible to foolishness than anyone else?"

Decoupage

Decoupage really has nothing whatsoever to do with my life or with this blog, but it's a fun word to say, and hey, I have latin for my blog title, so I might as well play around with other languages for my post titles. I mean, why not? Anything to break up the monotony of doing the same thing over and over again every day.

It's hard to keep up on a blog when 1) nothing exciting happens on a regular basis and 2) you don't do all that much thinking. If I thought a lot, I could write about thinking, and then it wouldn't matter if nothing exciting ever happened. If exciting things happened, then I could write about them and not worry that I don't think very much. But with a lack of both.... well.... It makes for difficulties.

Well, Avery's back home now. And Dad and I started on the chair, which is cool. Not like we're making lightning fast progress, but I learned to use a new tool today, and also how to read a ruler. I know, talented. First grade mathemataics always did escape me.

Mm. I think I'm going to go read or play computer or something.

I was standing dazzled with my heart in flames....

So yesterday, as you might have guessed from the photos, was kind of a big day for me. I got my hair cut and... broke my glasses. Might as well make it a complete makeover, right? =) The hair doesn't really look like me, but I think I'm at peace with it. It was least feels very nice - cool, light, and sort of flippy. And the glasses.... well.... beyond repair I think. I guess they just couldn't survive five years of abuse and then being sat on by both me and Paxton in a six month period. I wonder, should I go retro for the new ones? = D

Tomorrow's going to be a big day too. I'm getting off work especialy early and going with Mom to meet the Wilkies in Indiana and bring Avery back home. That should be cool. I'll get to see Jenn again and flex my driving skills, in preparation for driving up to PA this fall. And, of course, Avery's coming back home.

Today I took my last lab test and had my last actual class period. Now I just have to take my final exam next Wednesday and that's it. I'm done. For. ev. er. At least with Biology.

People in my class at Calhoun keep asking me questions about the course. For instance, "We don't have to come in on Tuesday, do we? We just have to come in for the exam on Wednesday?" And it struck me as funny: just because I'm doing well in the course, people assume that I know what I'm doing. What they don't realize is that half the time I'm just winging it - like last night, realizing at nine p.m. that I hadn't studied for my test at ten a.m. the next morning. Just because I happen to get good grades does not mean I know what's going on. Which also strikes me as hilariously funny. = D

I finished a rough draft of a story the other day. And typed up some poems that I've been working on. I expect I'll inflict them on you all fairly soon. If you want to read them (or the story at least. I'm not sure how much of the poetry will become 'public'.) leave me a message or send me an e-mail or something and I'll send it to you. I feel like I accomplished something - most of my story ideas don't even make it into a fully written rough draft. Ironically enough, I write a lot of poetry very badly and a few stories that people seem to like a lot.

Louise Gluck:

THE WHITE LILIES

As a man and woman make
a garden between them like
a bed of stars, here
they linger in the summer evening
and the evening turns
cold with their terror: it
could all end, it is capable
of devastation. All, all
can be lost, through scented air
the narrow columns
uselessly rising, and beyond,
a churning sea of poppies -

Hush, beloved. It doesn't matter to me
how many summers I live to return:
this one summer we have entered eternity
I felt your two hands
bury me to release its splendor.

Issues, Once Again

Paxton is so funny. He recently discovered my nose ring. He reaches his hands up and makes noises until I put my head down, and then he pokes at my nose and chuckles. Hahaha. I had no idea that a nose ring made good baby entertainment, but hey, I'll take what I can get. = D

So I was thinking. Can we actually create anything beautiful without ourselves being, in some fundamental way, beautiful? Like, in the spirit, or something. Random I guess, but I was thinking as I was driving, which always leads to a few random synapse firings in the ol' brain.

Great quote: "You're going to meet with criticism no matter where you go. The question is whether you can maintain your own sense of direction while still listening to what people have to say." My answer? No. Nope. I don't have a sense of direction anymore. I find myself thinking, ooh, that would be cool, I should paint that.... but then I stop, completely terrified that I'll do it wrong. Without someone looking over my shoulder, telling me what they expect, giving me immediate feedback on request, I have no idea what I'm doing. Which is a completely unnerving experience. After years of thinking, OK, I'm going to be an artist, now suddenly.... um... well, I don't know what to do. I don't understand what happened to that sense of "Yeah, that's right, that's good." Or even that sense of "ooh, bad. Stop there. Fix it." Poof. Nada. Sigh.

And Mackenzie's Competent Moment for the Week: I a)checked the oil on Gustav, my faithful if old and odd car, b) bought the right kind of oil, and c) put that oil in. I also a) realized the coolant was low b) asked Dad what kind of coolant we needed c) bought said coolant d) mixed it up in the proper proportions, and e) added it to the car. I felt sort of grown up. And by that I mean sort of competent. Of course, I have yet to drive Gustav after adding the coolant. Let's just hope he doesn't decide to spontaneously asplode.

Ok alls. I've once again ranted about my confidence issues, my inspiration issues, and my just plain issues. I feel that my duty here is done.

Oh My George

It's been almost a week since I posted. Can you believe that I managed to shut up for that long? Haha. I was mostly too tired to post. This week's been... well... yeah, hectic would probably cover it. "Hectic" just seems like such a short word for what seemed like a really long week.

I did my last biology lab this week, which heralds the ending of the entire class. Really just two weeks. I'm really excited, but I'm also wondering what I'm going to do with my mind for the rest of the summer. Homework I won't miss. Lectures I won't miss. But I feel like my mind will be a bit bored nonetheless. I told Mom, "On good days my mind feels like a formidable weapon which I wield against biology with great fervor. On bad days, I feel like my mind is a blunt weapon I feel like bashing people with." And that pretty much describes my biology experience. Along with these quotes regarding one of our classes (which basically dealt with genetics and childbirth):

"Nope. Your x's are clean."

"They don't show any of that on Sports Center!"

"Oh my George!"

And, famously,

"I wish I coulda caught a bass that big!"

Hahaha.... Yeah, that was a good class.

I have this problem at work. I'm in the south, right? And I have to be polite. Which means using words like, "Ma'am" and "sir" which don't usually find themselves in my vocabulary. I frequently find myself with this problem:

"I just said yes ma'am to a boy!"

Oops.

Dad and I are making a chair. Or, to be more accurate, a chair-like thing. It really isn't exactly a chair. Neither is it exactly a stool. Nor is it exactly a set of bookshelves. It's sort of a combination of the three, on wheels. I know, hard to picture. But, God willing (don't I sound like an old-timey politician?), you shall all see it this fall at school....

Ok. That's enough talking. I'm off to adventure!

the sheer irrationality of the thing pleases me

I think that if I were bald, my head would look extremely small. I wonder if there's a word for the irrational fear of bald, small-headed women?

I told Jenn that if I keep on with my current rate of my image-changing rampage, I'll end up with a peg leg and four arms. That's by way of introducing my new topic: haircuts. I want to get my hair cut. Short. I think. In theory. In theory, it would look fantastic. In actuality? Well... reality's a little harder to pin down. Input, anyone?

Today was a gorgeous day, thanks to hurricane Dennis (which is, I bet, not something often heard....). It was the perfect temperature - by which I mean you could wear a sweater and jeans and be exactly comfortable, even enjoying the breezes. Oddly enough, it reminded me of April....

I've discovered that when I talk to people I don't like, or extremely stupid people, I get very tense. And by very tense, I mean very very tense. Like, enough tension in my shoulders to hold up the Golden Gate Bridge.

Ok, honesty compels me to say that's a wild exaggeration (plus I'm not even sure the Golden Gate Bridge is held up by tension). But you get the picture.

Sigh.

I guess it's off to tea and exhaustion for me.

Goodnight all. Sleep well. Enjoy weird dreams.

------------------------------------------------------------

Eric was playing a Neutral Paladin in Ed's game. He was on some lord's lands when the following exchange occurred:

ED: You see a well groomed garden. In the middle, on a small hill, you see a gazebo.
ERIC: A gazebo? What color is it?
ED: (Pause) It's white, Eric.
ERIC: How far away is it?
ED: About 50 yards.
ERIC: How big is it?
ED: (Pause) It's about 30 ft across, 15 ft high, with a pointed top.
ERIC: I use my sword to detect good on it.
ED: It's not good, Eric. It's a gazebo.
ERIC: (Pause) I call out to it.
ED: It won't answer. It's a gazebo.
ERIC: (Pause) I sheathe my sword and draw my bow and arrows. Does it respond in any way?
ED: No, Eric, it's a gazebo!
ERIC: I shoot it with my bow (roll to hit). What happened?
ED: There is now a gazebo with an arrow sticking out of it.
ERIC: (Pause) Wasn't it wounded?
ED: OF COURSE NOT, ERIC! IT'S A GAZEBO!
ERIC: (Whimper) But that was a +3 arrow!
ED: It's a gazebo, Eric, a GAZEBO! If you really want to try to destroy it, you could try to chop it with an axe, I suppose, or you could try to burn it, but I don't know why anybody would even try. It's a @#$%!! gazebo!
ERIC: (Long pause. He has no axe or fire spells.) I run away.
ED: (Thoroughly frustrated) It's too late. You've awakened the gazebo. It catches you and eats you.
ERIC: (Reaching for his dice) Maybe I'll roll up a fire-using mage so I can avenge my Paladin.

At this point, the increasingly amused fellow party members restored a modicum of order by explaining to Eric what a gazebo is. Thus ends the tale of Eric and the Dread Gazebo. It could have been worse; at least the gazebo wasn't on a grassy gnoll.