Friday, August 19, 2005

The river is dark, but the water is sweet

Aha! I have discovered how to trick Blogger into letting me on.... Mwahahaha.

I apparently had coffee this afternoon at about 4:30, and am not really sleepy (although I am, without a doubt, tired) so here comes an update, written (where else?) in the coffee shop (it is Friday after all).

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Once again I'm sitting in a coffee shop, looking huge changes straight in the face, almost as if they were headlights and I was standing in the middle of a road.

And listening to near-blasphemy from the coffee shop attendants. Of course, I am rather opinionated when it comes to Tolkien, Lewis, and Lord of the Rings. Anyone who says the movies are ten times better, and has never even finished the books, well, they're on the blacklist.

The change currently barreling toward me is this: The End Of The Summer. There's a lot I didn't do. Finish my frog prince story. Write good poetry. Dive into my reading lists. There's a lot I wasn't brave enough to do, and that's the stuff I really regret. Surprising the crap out of Jacob. Painting the thing that's been on my mind the past couple months. Getting together with Robin. Finishing my book. Picking up the violin again. Skinny-dipping.

Haha. Yeah, right. No skinny-dipping for me. I just felt like a little levity was in order. If you seriously thought I'd regret missing skinny-dipping, I feel like you don't know me very well. Although it enters my mind that by being so sensible, I miss out on a lot of great anecdotes to tell my nephews and nieces.

It's the end of the summer, and I'm having to face all my failures. Not an easy thing to do. I'm also facing the end of 18, but that's not quite as hard.

It's one month exactly will I turn 19. Thirty-one days. Now there's a freaky thought. It pleases me, though, that I turn 19 on the 19th. But I suppose everyone has such a moment once in their life.

And goodbye coffee shop! This is my last visit for a long time. Thanks, I think. You've been pretty good to me.

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I finished matting today. Finally. I feel inordinately proud when I see the finished products, even though I'm not entirely sure how sturdy some of them are. But there's this extreme satisfaction in not hitting too many snags when you're just making most of it up as you go along.

I haven't started packing at all, which sucks, because I'm working right up to the day we leave. I may have to take Thursday off though. We'll see I suppose. Family is coming this week, so things'll be very busy, with lots of good food. And I want to get together with my friends before I leave. I like having family over, generally, but it can be draining. I can't wait to see how Blake has grown up though. He's walking now apparently, and has two teeth.

I was thinking the other day. [what if cartoons got saved.... nah.] Everything seems to snap into focus for me in two frames: how people relate to words, and how people relate to colors. It's amazing how much my extended family's relationships with colors tells about their relationships with each other. Or at least clarifies those relationships in my mind (but then, I'm told my mind has always been a bit odd).

I've decided that I'm not a minimalist, but I'm something close. I don't want merely the bare bones - I rather like richness and sonorousness - but I want nothing superfluous. I want each element to contribute in some way to the overall. It took me a long time to figure that out. So I hope I'm right.

Goodnight owl. Goodnight moon.

2 comments:

Andrew said...

Holy cow.

Spammers, I ask you: have you no decency? Have you none?

However... those stock tips look remarkably non-suspicious and cool...

(stupid spammers)

Mackenzie said...

Grr. I hate spammers.